Followers

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Brothers

There is no question that brothers have a special bond.  But between twin brothers I think the bond is something extra special. 


  Most nights, Logan and Stockton lay in bed talking, laughing, playing pretend games for close to an hour before finally letting themselves fall asleep.  Of course, we get frustrated with them and ask them over and over to settle down so they can sleep, but deep inside I love hearing their chatter and sword swooshing noises and declarations of triumphing over the enemy.  


We I am trying to decide whether to put the boys in  the same or separate 1st grade classes next year.  They will be in Spanish Immersion which has 2 homerooms and so they will have the same teachers, workload, activities, etc. as each other no matter what.  But trying to decide which way will help them flourish the best is hard.  Everyone says, "parents of twins are very adamant about having the twins together or separated."  But I'm really not sure!!!  When my boys were placed in separate Primary classes I was not very happy.  Stockton had a very difficult time going to Primary after, as he relied greatly on Logan's presence to give him comfort.  Now after a few years, it isn't that big of a deal (except the whining that happens when one of them comes home with a treat and the other doesn't.)  Anyway...   

On one hand I love to see them rely and help each other.  I would love to see them grow even closer from the time spent together in the classroom.  On the other hand I am starting to see more and more how different and individual they are.  I wonder how much being in separate classes would lead to letting their individuality shine through.  In a setting where they weren't being compared, where they didn't have their brother to rely upon, if they would be able to reach their fullest potential better.  

I have asked the boys several times in the last few months and the answers are almost always the same.  Logan says, "I want to be in a separate class!"  And Stockton says, "I want to be in the same class!"  It breaks my heart that they don't agree.  I asked Stockton why he wants to be with Logan.  "Because I will miss Logan if he is not in the same class!"  How very sweet!  

Stockton is not so much worried about what everyone else thinks.  He is almost more independent in that way.  He will do what he wants.  He isn't as social.  He enjoys playing with friends, when they are getting along.  And he's not afraid to speak his mind and tattle when he sees injustice among other children.  He also is more likely to act up and get himself in trouble.


Logan, on the other hand, is very tenderhearted.  He cares deeply what others think about him and wants everyone to like him.  He is highly social.  He loves craves attention and affection and can cry/ get angry easily when he is feeling left out.  In that way, he seems a little less independent...even needy sometimes.  Which is exactly why I think he needs to be in a different class than Stockton. 

They balance each other so well.  Yes, they are boys and will wrestle, argue, fight, run and jump and yell.  But with each of their strengths they have the potential to be so great together!  

The other day, Logan found himself extremely angry (due in part to feeling left out) and unable to control himself ended up punching some other (older and bigger) boys.  Oh boy, did that kid get in trouble!  And he cried for a good long time!  But he did his best to make amends with the best attitude I've ever seen a kid have!     
Then comes Stockton, trying to save his brother from all the trouble he has wound up in.  Stockton prayed that night (using very odd wording) the idea that he could take away Logan's trouble from him.  I asked him what he meant and near tears he told me that he would like to take Logan's punishment because he felt sad that Logan was in trouble.
  

Boys can be hilarious, disgusting, obnoxious, and so very sweet all rolled into one very cute and very individual little man.  The responsibility to raise them to be kind and strong and smart and respectful and polite and hard working and gracious is no small task.  We want them to be a gentleman as well as manly.  We want them to be funny as well as respectful.  We want them to be strong and genuine.  We want them to be so many things.  And so many factors go into who they will become...not just parents, but siblings, extended family, friends, teachers, and neighbors will influence them.  Watching their personalities blossom is really quite amazing. And I only pray that we can do the best job that we can to help these two spunky and fun loving boys to be great young men who turn into loving and righteous husbands and fathers.