Why I Do What I Do

I never thought I would feel like I had to justify what I do.  I thought I was just being a fun mom.  I was hoping the little extra smiles would be worth a little extra work.  But after reading this blog post that is floating around Facebook right now from the blog Rage Against the Minivan I feel I need to tell my perspective.

I am a stay at home mom.  I have 4 kids between the ages of 2-7.  I am a creative person who enjoys sharing my talents with my family.  I am also, according to my 7 year old daughter, the meanest mom in the world.

I saw a quote the other day that I just love! "Instead of saying 'I don't have time' try saying 'it's not a priority.  Often that's a perfectly adequate explanation....If we don't like how we are spending an hour, we can choose differently!" -Laura Yanderkam (I'm not sure who she is, but I think she is one smart lady.)

I don't have a demanding church calling, I don't have a ton of "extra curricular" things going on.  In fact, every time I sign my kids up for something I now make sure it is just a short commitment thing because I HATE taking all 4 kids to karate or swimming or gymnastics.  It is a huge pain for me!  My goals right now are really quite simple.  I am trying to be the best me that I can be.  Which right now just means being a good mom!  But I fall short of this EVERY day!  I yell more than I should.  I get impatient.  I feel less than motivated at times.  My list could go on of things I do wrong as a mom.

But then I look at what I do right as a mom.  I make my kids work (which is why my kids think I'm so mean.)  I read with them and try to teach them.  I make a homemade meal 9 out of 10 nights and we eat dinner together as a family.  And every once in a while, I try to make the everyday humdrum of life fun.  I am not great at "playing" with my kids.  I'm not great at laughing with them every day.  I'm not great at celebrating the little things.  But I can put a smile on their face with some silly leprechaun tricks or a special "love potion" drink for Valentines day dinner or a surprise dessert in the middle of the week to celebrate Pi day.

I can't speak for why others do or do not celebrate the "phone it in" holidays, but I know why I choose to spend my time this way.  I am a creative person who doesn't have many chances to "create" much of anything now a days.  Scrapbooking and crafting gets set aside for homework and piano and homemaking and laundry.  Maybe taking the time to do cutesy things for my family is part of my "love language" or maybe it is just an excuse to create.  How many people use St. Patrick's Day as an excuse to drink?  Well, I don't drink so maybe holidays are my excuse to do creative and fun things?

I don't travel much, or run races every weekend, in fact I barely get the minimum exercise requirements in so I don't blow up like a balloon.  I don't go out to many movies, or go out with the girls very often and I only put in the minimum amount of work it takes to keep my home in semi descent shape.  I am not in any book clubs, but Pinterest is my "virtual" club of awesomeness.

So I have to quickly tell the story of Saturday, March 16.  My 7 year old had asked to make a leprechaun trap and I told her we could after her work was done.  I spent from 9 a.m.-1:30 p.m. trying to get her to accomplish a math worksheet, cleaning the toilet, practicing the piano, and doing her Spanish reading.  Yes, the better half that 4 1/2 hours was spent with ONE child.  However, once her work was finally done it was time to go to a birthday party for some cousins and visit with Grandpa.  By the time we got home and dinner done, it was bedtime and I still needed to go grocery shopping.  So I left the hubs to put the kids to bed and took off.  When I got home at 10 p.m. my husband said that E was still upset about not making a leprechaun trap and he told her he would see what he could do.  He asked if I had bought any candy, which in my attempt to be healthier, I really had nothing to leave.  So after the groceries were put away and I sat down for a few minutes, I had a fun idea.

It took me all of about 25 minutes to type up a silly note about how the leprechaun was disappointed because we hadn't left any gold and that he decided to play some tricks on us.  The toilet water had turned green as well as the milk.  It only took me a couple of minutes to make some leprechaun prints on the toilet seat and fridge.  The leprechaun left the kids some green veggies.
As I lay in bed Sunday morning listening to the giggles and squeals from the front room and shouts of "What? No candy?  Green vegetables?"  I felt like the 25 minutes I spent the night before was all worth it!  They truly got a kick out this years leprechaun visit!

I guess this is why I build up the little holidays more than the average mom.  I love their surprised faces, their smiles and giggles!  I love making a humdrum, normal day into something a little more special.  Why not?  They are only kids once!  And once they grow up and remember these fun days I hope they know that I did it out of love.  As bad as I am at communicating my feelings, I hope they understand that it is one of my ways I express love.

And I feel confident enough about being a good mom, that I don't feel guilty if I skip or play down a holiday if I'm not feeling up to putting in the effort at that particular time.  I don't look at other pictures of fun holiday traditions on Facebook and think, "I"m such a horrible mom that I didn't make leprechaun hats for my kids!" So what I'm trying to say, without offending those who are so irritated by the posting of cute leprechaun footprints, that for me it's a choice to spend my time and use my talents that particular way.  And seeing pictures on Facebook shouldn't be what we base our judgement of other moms on.  I know I have had to remind myself many times that when I see pictures of all the "fun" things other friends do on Facebook or blogs that that picture is only a small part of what their life is really like.

Anyway, there you have it.  My little soapbox about not judging other moms and looking at what we do individually that makes us good moms.  And that we all choose to spend our time and energy and money in different ways.  And that we all have different talents that we share with our family.